Feckin Eejit

old people crack me up

2009-07-17T11:33:00.001-07:00

Me: thank you for calling, this is Davin.
Old person: what's your name?
Me: Davin (pronounced dah-vinn)
Old person: okay David can you check something for me?

I want to eat my checks

2009-07-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Recently Banking regulations changed and to save money original checks are no longer being returned to the 5% of old people who still manage their finances this way.

Old guy: "It's my constitutional right to do whatever I want with my checks, If I want to shred them or eat them"!

I imagine an old man shaking his fist and shouting at a bank employee about how times were tough in the old country and they dreamed of moving to america where you could eat as much paper as you want.

take the charges off!

2009-04-16T10:16:00.001-07:00

caller: there's a problem in my account, they were supposed to take these charges off the account, but instead they put them back in.

me: ok, I see in your account that we gave you the money back for those three charges.

caller: yeah, but they were supposed to take them off, not put them back in and I...

me: sorry to interrupt ma'am, but if you notice, your account balance increases with these amounts.

caller: RIGHT! they were supposed to take them off.

me: well I see here that you were given the money back for these charges which is what was supposed to happen.

caller: oh.

how do I?

2009-04-03T07:17:00.001-07:00

customer: hi, how do I see my statement electronically?
Me: Are you currently logged in?
customer: yes
Me: do you see the link for estatements?
customer: yes
Me: ok.
customer: so that's what I click on?
Me: yes
customer: to see estatments?
Me: yes?

Old people again;

2009-03-20T05:55:00.000-07:00

This is how a call goes;

Me: Hi this is Davin
Customer: Hi Davin, what's your name?
Me: Davin.
Customer: okay.

Does this make me a jerk?

2009-02-19T07:47:00.000-08:00

I am a nice person most of the time - really I am. Unless I get cut off in traffic or someone tries to harm me or my family I will be calm and pleasant. This story takes place 02/19/09 at the milk & sugar-adding-area of my local coffee place and because I use fake names on my blog the codename will be 'Moonbucks'.

I was waiting patiently for the person before me to finish adding her milk so that I could go next. I was listening to death metal in my right ear so when she asked me something and gestured towards the dairy offerings I couldn't hear exactly what she said. I mumbled an inquisitive "hmm"? this caused her to gesture angrily at the dairy options. I displayed a confused look which made her throw up her hands and walk away muttering something about "kids these days". I am 33 years old, granted a very immature 33 but calling me a kid gave me the justification to then say "I can get my own milk" - I don't know if she heard me or not.

I don't know why she couldn't just be like everyone else and leave when she was finished adding milk to her coffee. There are so many jerks in the world that it throws me off when someone is genuinely trying to be helpful. The song I was listening to is "Scavenger of human sorrow" by the band 'DEATH'.

another old person story 2

2009-02-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

This is the jist of the call

Me: How can I help you?
OP: Yeah I got this letter, I don't understand it.
Me: What does the letter say?
OP: I took out forty dollars, I only took out twenty and I got overdrafted.
Me: Ok, I see here that you took out forty dollars which overdrew your account
OP: Well I don't get it, I'll be calling you people every day
Me: Please do, call us every day so you know what your balance is.
OP: Yeah well you people screwed up my account
Me: Can you point to something we did wrong?
OP: My account is overdrafted
Me: And can you point to one thing that we did wrong?
OP: I wrote out some checks and now I'm overdrawn!
Me: Yes, we honored the checks you wrote, can you tell me what we did wrong?
OP: I'll be calling you people every day
ME: I look forward to talking to you again
OP: *annoyed grunt - click*

Another old person story

2008-12-31T07:27:00.000-08:00

Customer: Hi, I'd like my account balance please.
ME: Sure, what's the account number?
Customer: 555-1234-5...
ME: Oh, that's your phone number sir.
Customer: Oh, I see, 555-2251-5...
ME: That's my phone number sir.
Customer: Oh, let me get my checkbook out from under the dog then.
ME: Okay.

List of Bad Phrases

2008-11-17T07:29:00.000-08:00

You can say them, just please dont say them around me.

1) SUCH AS
2) 'Delish'
3) Good to go
4) No Problem
5) My Bad
6) Have a great one
7) Irregardless
8) Can you hear me now?
9) This day and age
10) Trying to think
11) Real quick

#1 Made famous by a certain befuddled Miss South Carolina.
#2 Because Rachel Ray is annoying.
#3 From that stupid Taco Bell commercial.
#4 because if you say this to a customer, they'll say, "Yeah there is a problem".
#5 This phrase is so overused and has lost all of its slacker charm.
#6 A what now? something big? something good?
#7 This isn't a word. The word is regardless.
#8 even verizon doesn't use this anymore it's so annoying.
#9 Only old people who have lived through different "ages" should use this term.
#10 You are not trying, you ARE thinking.
#11 It's going to take as long as it always takes, even if you add the word 'quick' to your request.

response to blog post about holding OBama to his word

2008-11-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

I just think it's silly to say that we need to 'hold him to his word' when nobody said that about Bush the first OR second time he took the presidency.

I do think peoples hopes are high because he is an inspiring public speaker with good ideas of what this country can and should be. We'll see what happens when you take the power away from the corporations and give the money back to the middle class who earned it. Instead of giving tax breaks to big corporations and the wealthiest 5% of the country. Conservatives are quick to decry Socialism as being evil, but have no qualms about Corporate socialism.

HE said himself in his acceptance speech that he won't be able to fix everything in one term but the country will stand behind him as our new president! woo hoo!

26 hour banking

2008-07-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Transcript of phone conversation,

customer; "what time does your branch open?"
me; "oh, well this is actually a call center, which branch are you looking for?"
customer; "The one on ________ street."
me; "they're open at 8 am"
customer; "and when do they close?"
me; "6 oclock"
customer; "PM?"
me; "yes"
customer; "ok thanks."

I hung up the phone and said aloud, "yeah the bank will be open for 26 hours today, dumbass."

hundredpushups.com

2008-06-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

along with some people from work I'll be starting the challenge to do a hundred pushups (no cheating). Since last year I gained 30 pounds. I plan to do the pushup program Mon, Wed, Fri & run 20 minutes a day with my black lab on the off days Tues, Thurs, Sat.

hundredpushups

It's a girl

2007-11-30T14:29:00.000-08:00

we had our ultrasound on Monday. nice round head, two arms, two legs, two kidneys, two lungs, etc, etc. Also 95% certaintly that it's a girl!

yay!

free money!

2007-10-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Names removed to protect the cranky and old. a customer was upset that the bank debited her savings account $0.25 because of a canadian quarter in a roll of quarters she sold the bank. I explained to her that the teller who bought her quarters has to balance his/her drawer and has to account for any differences. I said, "That's why customers to write their account numbers on the rolls of change they sell". It would have been the same situation if she gave us a roll of quarters with $9.75 in it. She said that she understands that tellers don't get paid much and it shouldn't be their burden, but that the bank should have made up the difference - which is basically asking the bank to give money away (but it would have been rude to say that). I did say that I would pass the complaint along, so here you go.

New Baby

2007-09-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, Xtina is 6 weeks pregnant now. We bought her first maternity clothes today. Today is my birthday I got a 30 gb ipod video from the chestnut hill apple store& we had cheesecake factory for lunch.

It's filthy and it's smelly but it's beautiful

2006-11-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

And it gets me to work in 15 minutes and so I love it...

More bike porn

2006-11-23T15:56:00.001-08:00

updated bike

2006-11-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

added a back carrier, soon to add a big black milk-crate to carry stuff around in!

Loving the motorized bike

2006-11-05T20:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the cops check me out but they haven't stopped me yet... I should get that moped sticker already... I've heard from other motor-bicycle nerds that cops usually pull them over and ask them how fast it goes, how many MPG it gets, etc.

bike good

2006-11-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

I rode my new motor-bicycle to work the last couple of days it's still a pain to start it because you have to pedal a lot in the beginnning, but there's nothing like passing someone smiling at you from a car, (maybe judging - I don't care...) and then zipping by them when they stop at a traffic light :D

My Motor-bicycle

2006-10-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

I want to ride my bicycle! but I can't until I buy a helmet...

Whoopsy!

2006-08-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

I spent 45 minutes sitting and chatting with a claustrophobic patient today so they could make it through their scan. That's fine, I get to take a break from my boring work pushing paper.

I realize people have control/confinement issues that I not having experienced them, can't understand. I think it has less to do with claustrophobia and more to do with the helplessness they feel. So much so, that they have to exit the machine simply because it is the only bit of control they have in the hopeless situation they are in.

Terminally ill patients, in my experience fall into two categories. The first category is; people who are resigned to the fact that they may die. These are happy people, who treasure every waking moment because they may not have many left.

The second category is; people who may be dying but they are such miserable awful people to everybody they encounter, that I am surprised anybody would accomdate them much less empathise. You can't be an asshole and expect to be given the best possible care. Maybe the drama these people surround themselves with helps them by being a constant in their lives, something they cause and they are comfortable with?

This sounds insensitive as I type it, I know - but what good can possibly come from angering the people who are trying to take care of you? Eventually you have to come to terms with dying and make every last moment count. I only hope that I heed my own advice If I find myself in that predicament.

Unfortunately the patient I was taking care of fell into the last category, the rest of the staff had had enough of her complaining about how,"Her doctor said this would be an open machine, why is this (head coil) on my head"? Fortunately for her I did not know how she was treating our staff and I came in simply to keep her company so my attitude towards her was neutral.

When the scan was finished and I helped her up to a sitting position she farted for a good 20 seconds. The tech said 'Whoops', the patient said "excuse me", kept on farting and I kept a straight face becuase I knew if I didn't the tech and I would both be Laughing our butts off.

The house has a name

2006-07-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

As an update to a previous post, the new house has been named. 'Cois Farraige' gaelge for 'House by the sea'.

4th of July fireworks

2006-07-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

Every year the Boston fireworks get better and bigger. Because the Charles river is so wide and there are no concerns with debris causing fires nearby the Boston fireworks are the most elaborate in the country. Suck it NY!

Taken from the third floor of a building on Beacon St. We were 200 feet from the Barge shooting fireworks. at one point the barge went on fire, nobody seemed to care.

I'm on myspace now!!!

2006-06-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

Yay myspace. people like me.

1936 Ireland

2006-06-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

My Great Uncle Bernard, Great Uncle Gerry Grandmother Eileen Grandfather Denis at Bray Head in Dublin in 1936.

OMG I LOL'D

2006-06-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

cat on a leash

2006-06-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

This is Cookie, she walks around our neighborhood just like a dog.

we saw a turtle laying eggs 06/02/06

2006-06-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

This turtle lady was laying her eggs in a hole next to the Muddy River in Fenway, Boston. A few feet from a busy intersection.

cat and dog at lunchtime 06/02/06

2006-06-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

customer service

2006-06-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

Rule #1
Don't be a pompous dickbag to the customer service reps, at least not until they refuse to help you. They are people like you who chances are hate their crappy customer service job.
Rule #2
Always write down the reps name as soon as you get someone, also an extension if possible to call them back directly.
Rule #3
If you feel like you can, exaggerate about your condition, also ask for more than you want, i.e if you want a free month of cable, ask for three, you might get two.
Rule #4
Have a desired result and don't mince words, examples:

"The reason I'm calling is because I was ____ about the level of ____ provided by _____". I would appreciate a free____ or a reduced ___ because I have been a customer for ____ or because I spend ___ amount on your product/service".

Rule #5
If they can't help you ask for their manager and throw a fit. Say "Do you know who I am? because you'll know who I am when I get you fired"! That is what you pull out hen you NEED to be a dickbag.

Puppy making friends!

2006-04-10T07:45:00.002-07:00

Sleepy time puppy!

2006-04-10T07:45:00.001-07:00

New Puppy at the store with Great Dane in window

2006-04-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

New Puppy!

2006-04-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

The hypogonadism story

2006-03-24T18:15:00.000-08:00

So I have to call a guy to remind him he has an apointment to scan his pituitary gland to rule out a tumor the following day, so:

D: Hi, my name is Dildi Baggins* and I'm calling from The Independent Medical Faclity**
Guy: (Shouting) NO, NO. NO! NEVER!
D: I'm sorry? Sir I'm calling to confirm your appointment for tomorrow at...
Guy: (Loudly)These Doctors treat me like shit! - do you know what shit is? Huh?(with previously unheard confidence, as if swearing made him feel great!)
D: Yeah! (proudly, as if I knew about shit way before anyone else liked it)
Guy: This one time I passed out in the doctors office and I wake up and I'm missing a tooth.
D: I, oh - yeah? ok
Guy: So I go to this new doctor and she's mean - she says, "DROP YOUR PANTS SO I CAN GRAB YOUR BALLS"!
D: Wow, that's terrible.
Guy: Do you understand how that feels? and bwa bwa bwa bwa... (he goes off on a rant...)
D: I'm sorry to hear about that sir, I'm going to just cancel your appointment ok? Have a nice weekend then.
Guy: What? ok.

*(name changed to protect me, or something)
**(more fake names used)

by 'Mystery Vortex' of Fark.com

2006-03-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

balls for kidz and bears

2006-03-23T20:21:00.000-08:00

test pattern

2006-03-23T20:19:00.000-08:00

faneuil hall, worst whoopie pie & carrot cake

2006-03-23T20:03:00.000-08:00

ooh

2006-03-23T20:02:00.000-08:00

Free Agent

2006-03-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

Just occurred to me that for the last two weeks I haven't been working as a temp because I didn't get the job through a temp agency. Therefore I am a free agent.

So the story goes that after nearly 7 years working for the temp agency on and off, I was hired as the receptionist for the agency! The owner of the company requested me personally for this position! I was happy that after a month or so of temp employment that I had obtained a permanent job! Everyone was warm and welcoming because they have known me for many years as a person who can go to any assignment and represent the company in a professional manner.

I learned all of the duties and procedures within the first day because it was a holiday and nobody was calling. The person training me had an abrasive personality, was loud and obnoxious. We clearly didn't like each other. 3 days of being trained by an enourmous ass later I was told that I was, "not the right fit for the organization". I was taken aside by the office manager and told that I had a bad attitude and that I was being fired for swearing at the clients. Apparently when I wasn't paying attention my mouth was doing things I was not aware of. It was my word against the loud obnoxious words of my slight superior (she had worked as receptionist for 4 months) and I was out the door, with tears barely contained in my eyes.

-----------------HAPPY ENDING------------------------

I start a new job monday as office assistant in a MRI center closer to home, for a lot more money than I would be making at the agency. Things happen for a reason and I have learned that no matter how much people like you, you still need to kiss huge amounts of ass.

Ow!

2006-03-08T06:40:00.000-08:00

God damn! I just sat down on my own damn balls.

ow!

my other blog

2006-03-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

I have another blog which I use to list my web-stumblings and neat viral videos and junk.

feckineeejit

The House is almost finished

2006-03-07T09:03:00.001-08:00

In the sun-holiday capital of Ireland - Blackwater, Wexford or rather Ballyvaldon near Blackwater, Wexford my descendants will call this their ancestral home.

view from front

amazing view!

In traditional Irish style, the house needs a name. So far all of the proposed names suck or have been used before in our family. Please add in to comments a fitting name if you can think of one. Irish house names sound best when they end in an 'o' or 'ow' sound.

so far we have:

balvaldo

tindaro

help!

That's Super creepy - yow.

2006-02-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

A robot pony? What will they think of next - a talking banana?

butterscotch the robot pony

11 day weekend

2006-02-15T14:36:00.000-08:00

Man, unemployment really isn't as fun as it used to be.

I was around to shovel snow tho

beer and coffee (no watermelon)

2006-02-10T13:03:00.000-08:00

Working at SamAdams is great. Free coffee, free beer, lots of restrooms. I have been cutting menu inserts and table cards (the things that go in the wood & lucite stands at bar tables). Now the job is ending and if I don't have anything lined up for next week, so...11 day weekend!

Merry Chocolate

2005-12-19T17:38:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the year again...time for me to EAT MY WEIGHT IN FERRERO ROCHER!

happy birthday to me 2

2005-09-02T06:01:00.000-07:00

It's been over a year since I started my blog. I am now 30. That is depressing.

I'm sorry, did I say I wanted to buy clothes? I meant to say crack.

2005-07-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

So this page is now going to be filled with stories from my work, because they are just too funny to not share with someone.

A client had requested an extra $300 for clothes. Since he lives in a shelter we were wary of giving him anything that could be stolen from him by room-mates. Also since we can't trust anyone who wants a large amount of cash at once, we had arranged for a caseworker to go shopping with him so that he could bring the receipts back. I was suspicious when he asked us if he could buy 'something expensive like a watch' -(my thought was that he could then say he lost the receipt and buy A WATCH MADE OF DRUGS)!

An hour passed and the case worker returned early. He told us that they went to the bank to cash the check for clothes shopping and afterwards, as soon as they hit about 20 MPH on Commonwealth Avenue (a busy main road) the client opened the door of the moving car and 'tucked & rolled' his way to freedom. He's more than likely somewhere in Hyde Park asking someone how much crack he can get for $300.00.

Unfortunately there are these individuals who while they are mentally ill, they are also addicts. Thankfully they are the exception as most clients are actively trying to get themselves back into society, getting jobs, finding a place to live etc, etc.

New Jobness

2005-07-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

I got a job working for the metally ill. Basically when it is determined that someone is too 'special' to handle their own finances, we step in and take care of their bills and spending money. I have had experience with the Mentally Ill before, having worked in St. Patricks Mental Hospital in Dublin (by the Guiness brewery on the River Liffey). I really just write out checks all day here, which is pretty boring but the characters that come in my office are worth all the drudgery.

One example; a fellow sits down next to me in my office and hands me his cable bill. I remark how high his bill is this month and he turns to me saying (with raised eyebrows) "You know how that cable sucks you in". I say, yeah pretty engrossing stuff there... Then I turn over his bill and see PPV purchases for Teen sluts 5, barely legal 3, pink princess 2, etc. So in a nutshell, the gov't is paying for this dude to watch barely legal-type porn.

Anyway, it's an interesting office and the folks are really nice so I have nothing to complain about.

2005-07-05T06:58:00.001-07:00

2005-07-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

2005-07-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

The cat's inside the walls again

2005-05-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

Even though we disapprove, we sometimes allow the cat to wander into the gaps in the building. Today he got in under the stairs outside our front door. I figured I should gets some shots of that now before we move.

by lifting a piece of wood you can see under the stairs.

where some jerk left some construction garbage loooong ago...

the cat goes in here for some reason, probably just because he can.

there is an old a/c that is meant to block passage under the stairs, or maybe that's where someone stores their a/c

he gets in under there by the bikes.

I tried to entice him out with food, in the end I annoyed him out with the flash on the camera.

makes the skin crawl

2005-05-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

Very informative website from Canada that will I.D. any insects you find around the house/garden. I got about half-way down the page before my skin started to crawl!

pest control ID website

2005-05-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

Kelsey loves Home Depot

2005-05-09T21:18:00.002-07:00

Living room

2005-05-09T21:18:00.001-07:00

Bedroom - Grrr

2005-05-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hallway

2005-05-09T21:17:00.001-07:00

Bathroom

2005-05-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

Shiny new front door

2005-05-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

OMG U R Teh Fastest!

2005-05-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

A 13 year old girl using predictive text was properly trounced by a 93 year old War Veteran using Morse code even though the girl was allowed to use colloquialisms and abbreviations. The phrase was “Hey, girlfriend, you can text all your best pals to tell them where you are going and what you are wearing.”

Morse code beats texting in a head to head speed test

I want to see semaphore (crazy flag waving) tested next time to see if it can beat this new fangled Morse code.

Moisturizing is Important

2005-05-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

I saw an ad yesterday for a mens line of wrinkle cream (which I'm not going to publicize by name) but I think it's important to note that we may now have a new breed of metrosexual guys who have cause to be self concious due to their wrinkles. God knows Xtina has been trying to get me to moisturize for years now, (but I was always worried that I would smell too feminine). Now that there is a product with a manly name I may just do that.

Smoking and ADHD

2005-04-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

It is now day 14 of no smoking and I'm finally noticing the benefits. It is easier to concentrate on tasks that have lots of disparate aspects and easier to recall things from my short term memory. This is evidenced by the fact that I'm posting on my blog instead of thinking about it and then forgetting to do it.

I am a videoconference coordinator for a Hospital in Boston and today I attended a psychology conference. One of the items mentioned was that children who are diagnosed with ADHD are predisposed to be smokers and also to abuse drugs or alcohol. This comes from a study to be released later this week in the NEJM (New England Journal of Medicine). It is due to the fact that the ADHD brain makes pleasure pathways easier than regular brains. It just makes me wonder if giving children with this disorder a drug that can be easily abused makes a lot of sense.

I have recently gotten this urge to approach other smokers and tell them to quit. I would never do this however, because it's obnoxious and if anyone ever did it to me while I was smoking they would get laughed at or called crazy. Quitting after 15 + years of smoking is easier than I thought it would be and that's all I would say to current smokers. Smokers are a defensive bunch and they have their reasons to continue smoking. None of those reasons are logical however and smokers consider the personality trait of smoking to be a comfort, similar to having a friend with you all the time. This friend gets you outside rain or shine and helps you relax. What is not visible to smokers, is that this friend is taking your money, harming you physically and making you look like an idiot.

Having said all that, any time I see someone smoking on television or on the street I desperately want a cigarette. It doesn't make sense - I don't want to smoke, in fact that's the last thing I want to do, but my pleasure pathways in my brain want me to. There are two or three times a day when I feel like mugging the next smoker I see on the street and running off with their cigarettes. It would be like taking candy from a baby - it's not like they could catch me.

Quitting Smoking Sucks

2005-04-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

I have smoked since I was 12 or 13 and I'm now 29. I have tried to quit a handfull of times before, but each time I would either go for a drink, remove the patch and be smoking again or just sneak a drag here and there. This would cause me to start smoking again and rather more heavily than before I tried to quit. This time I want to quit rather than feeling like I should quit. There are plenty of withdrawal symptoms even when you are on the nicotine patch. I get the shakes and my body temperature changes randomly. The patch gives you a constant level of nicotine through the day and night which, by raising your blood pressure gives you a 'speedy' feeling, like you can't relax because your heart is racing. It's not necessarily a bad thing. At night, if you choose to leave the patch on you have what can only be described as vivid dreams. A few nights ago I was a secret agent, which was great fun, but you wake up not feeling quite rested.

I have a tendency to experience both sides of an inner argument at once. This is certainly true when thinking about quitting smoking; for every positive aspect there is an accompanying negative. For instance; my sense of smell is returning, but the world tends to smell pretty bad. I have the stamina I used to have ten years ago, however I have few outlets for this energy(my apartment is always clean now). I no longer have a reason to go outside for quick breaks through the day, but now I must sit in an office with no windows for most of the day. I can breathe a lot better than I could last week, but I am constantly bringing up dark-colored sputum as my lungs heal. (I work in a hospital now so I use doctory words like borborygmi and ataxic, e.g. I was concerned that a loud borborygmus combined with my general ataxia could cause acute shitty-pants)

I thought I'd be saving money not smoking, but the patches cost slightly less per week than buying cigarettes. I am glad I don't go to bed wheezing and wake up gasping anymore - that shit is scary.

Working smahtah, not hahdah

2005-02-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

Yes that is a Boston accent. I realized today that there are people who try to make me do their work for them. I will no longer chase people down and try to force them to give me information. In the future if they don't tell me who will be participating in their videoconferences, they will be billed whether they are in the call or not. That will teach them to plan ahead. All I'm asking for is a weeks notice anyway, it shouldn't be that hard. Fuckin' people.

If Peter Griffin were Slovakian and stuck in an avalanche...

2005-01-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

Man peed way out of avalanche

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours.

The Brookline snow.

2005-01-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

The front door left an impression on the snow drift.

A chimney outside our window.

A tree house next door.

Our car is the grey one in the middle there.

This is in front of our building.

Near the road.

One of the few shoveled sidewalks.

Behind our apartment 4 to 6 feet deep.

Snow covers the railing on the steps.

Haven't updated in a while

2004-12-01T13:08:00.000-08:00

So, I got this great new job on the 23rd floor of one of MGHs many buildings. The people are friendly and fun , which is important to me. I am currently in charge of scheduling Videoconferences, Copying Digital Media, and also some billing work.

The group I work for is also currently doing some interesting work for the future of medicine. In the not so distant future people will use devices that already exist for health monitoring such as heart rate, blood oxygen, blood sugar, etc. in a new way. The devices will be connected to the internet via your cellphone and the data goes to a server that a Doctor can check and receive alerts on. The doctor then can administer to the patient without them needing to go to the hospital, or tell them to go, whatever. It's exciting and I'm glad to be on the team!

I work with a guy named Ed Boner pronounced bonner. (that's kind of funny)

Monsieur Arafat, c'est ne pas mort. Merci.

2004-11-05T04:41:00.000-08:00

that french guy cracked me up almost as much as our idiot president mourning arafats death as if he actually cared about the guy.

West Coast Holiday

2004-10-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

So me & the missus went to Cali for a week and we had an awesome time. The weather was lovely and we drove to see a new attraction each day. Day 1 was Griffith park to see the hollywood sign. SADLY THE PICTURES WERE REMOVED DUE TO VERIZON BEING STINGY WITH THE STORAGE SPACE. ONLY 10 MEGS for $40 a month?!?!?!?

we didn't see any mountain lions, but we did see lizards

Next day we went to Topanga Canyon and walked and walked...

J&E got a 6 month old puppy from a local shelter and he is awesome, his name is finn McCool (of Irish Folklore)

Next day we went to the Mojave Desert and saw a coyote

a hummingbird

and a bunny

there was a whole lot of this

And lots of cool looking rocks and dead trees

Unfortunately there was NO SWIMMING allowed in the desert.

More later.

Visit from the parents

2004-09-28T13:08:00.000-07:00

Xtinas folks came to visit last weekend for the expressed purpose of viewing our choice of wedding venue. The visit was largely uneventful except for the heated political discussions that erupt between Xtina and her Dad. So they came, they saw the Lars Anderson car museum as our venue of choice for 1 year and 3 days from now.

(pic of a sample place setting with a classic car in the background). We plan on doing the ceremony outside, at sunset - but if it rains we can do it in the main hall of the museum and it would still be beautiful because the sunset would come through the main doors during the ceremony.

I am very excited, not little girl excited, but at the same time I have never been this excited about getting married before. Maybe it's because I can actually picture it now, and also because I am marrying such an amazing woman!

Happy Birthday to me

2004-09-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

I am now twenty-nine. Soon my tits will start to drop, my skin will become covered in brown liver spots and my pubes will turn grey. So sad.

I got some lovely new work clothes from Shirl and I wore them today. They actually make me look quite spiffy, as I realized when I noticed various women staring at me as I walk through the mall. My first inclination is to think that they are staring at my asymmetrical ears, then to do a quick one-finger zipper check to see if the fly is open and finally to realize that I'm being looked up and down like a piece of meat! It doesn't boost my ego or anything, but it doesn't NOT boost my ego either.

It sucks working on your birthday, even more knowing that you can't take the day off because you have to pay the bills. The funniest thing though, is knowing that you're probably the best dressed guy in the mall (thanks Shirl!) and you just ate walgreens microwave bacon-cheeseburgers (two bucks each) because it's not payday yet.

I haven't opened all my pressies yet, but the cat got me a subscription to xbox magazine! Thanks Arlo!

Best Mailroom Coordinator-Thingy Guy Ever

2004-08-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

I can honestly say that I understand why 'Mailroom guys' are all fat and lazy. I work three hours total out of eight in a day and today I am eating Krispy Kremes which are near to me instead of getting lunch out of sheer sloth. You get used to doing next to nothing every day and you avoid getting your ass out of your chair if you can.

I've had many jobs that were challenging both mentally and physically in my 12 year professional career. I recall being proud of my accomplishments in most of those positions and being justly and quietly rewarded for my hard work. As a 'Mailroom guy' however - if you hand someone the right kind of envelope from the supply closet they are so unduly grateful it's as if you've just reminded them why life is worth living. It's all about perspective and I can tell you most people don't have any, because they haven't worked a zillion different jobs like I have.

In the past when I've had free time in a job to surf the web, read the newspaper or clean my workspace I'd cherish it. When someone asked me to do something my initial reaction would be of reluctance to assist. Now I'm practically begging people around me to give me stuff to do. Stuff that gives me a feeling of accomplishment like fixing a fax machine or copying a report. But the Admins have been trained so that when a machine malfunctions they immediately call in a technician and they do all their own copying.

My boss did give me a project of estimating how many Copier toner cartridges we use in a month so she could project the amount onto the yearly budget, but how? When you run out of toner you buy more. At home you don't guess when you'll run out of dish soap and plan to buy more before you've finished the one you have! right?

All I'm saying is if you have a job that you are good at, get paid well and your boss doesn't micro-manage your time then you have it MADE. Hang on to that job like a Supreme Court Justice, because there are so many worse jobs out there.

I may make it sound boring and terrible, but I've had many jobs that were much worse than this so I'll take this opportunity to demonstrate my perspective from personal experience and say that 'Mailroom Clerk' is definitely better than 'Mental Hospital Patient Cash Office Clerk', 'Subway Sandwich Artist' and (because things are funnier in threes) 'Back-End Data-Entrist' (sounds dirty doesn't it)

Just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean I like doing it

2004-07-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

I had possibly the worst job ever this week. I had to call up businesses in the south/southeast and ask them if they would like to take a survey. I would hang up and have hung up on the poor bastards who do this for a living, but after a few calls you figure out what gets people to stay on the phone.
My 'shpeil' was, "Hi, my name is Davin, I'm calling from *.*.*. Consulting in Boston, how are you? - this is not a sales call - I'm calling to guage interest in promotional products. Can you either tell me if you have pens with your company logo on them, or can I speak to your office manager please?" It's hard, but I can say it all in one breath.
I was supposed to be asking for the office manager in an attempt to find out if they have/like or are interested in pens with their company logo printed on them. eventually I figured out the best I could do in most situations is to ask the receptionist if they have seen pens around with their company logo on them. Most people laughed at me when I offered a $500 raffle to entice them to take the survey. Even I wasn't sure if this was a legitimate offer, but hey, whatever pays the bills right?
I figured out a cute trick though, most people warn the office manager when a telemarketer is calling and put them into their voicemail. So what I would do is to get the persons name (e.g. Debbie) from the answering machine. Then I would call back and in my best Georgia drawl say, "Hah therr, Can ah talk tuh Debbie please" - and BAM! result - I would be talking to debbie!
For the last few hours of this job I got creative with the survey results and extrapolated data from my previous vict - er - quarry to create a few new results.
I'm sure that this won't matter because anyone who's stupid enough to pay thousands of dollars for people to cold call random southern businesses and ask if they use promotional pens will probably then spend hundreds of thousands to start up a promotional products company - even though any office supply company can make these items for relatively cheap.

Update! New Job done

2004-07-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

I must not have put those stickers on straight enough, because the 1 month assignment just became a 1 day affair.

Oh well, the agency will have something else for me tomorrow.

New Job, More Money

2004-07-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

Another week begins and I am playing receptionist in a CPA firm Doon-toon. I have been awarded a nice pay increase ($1.50 an hour extra) to look happy and put stickers on file tabs. I feel I can make a difference here if I put those stickers on really straight.

Continuity strikes again as I am working for someone who worked for my previous boss in the same position I worked in. It's great to be able to compare notes on how you dealt with a certain bosses personality. I mostly used the 'pretending to care' approach, whereas she took a more reactionary approach. I do not recommend trying to reason with a boss as this can lead to unnecessary dialogue.

all opinions are politically driven and therefore any one is as true as any other

2004-07-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

I pride myself on being an upbeat, outgoing person and I take with a grain of salt anything that seems to be skewed politically to one side or another. Then I read things like this article and I want to run screaming back to Ireland. - Davin

Junk Science and The Bush Administration

Pretending you care TIP #1

2004-07-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

You can go very far in life by just pretending to care about whatever issue presents itself to your boss.
If it's a minor dissapointment a simple "Aw, that's too bad", validates their insignificant emotions and implies that you are an empathic individual, someone worth keeping around when problems arise.
If it is a major complication however, first you need to scan your memory to make sure it wasn't your fault. Then contort your face into a look of mild discomfort, this will suggest that you are as upset as your boss is. Then utter the words "What are they going to do about it". This will sound as if you understand the situation and do care, but does not place you in the position of having to take care of the problem. But if you must handle the problem, see if you can put it off until your contract expires.

I wish my office was like that show 'The Office'

2004-06-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

You know how they are always making delightful double entendres and sexual innuendos, playing pranks and looking surly?

In my office we make double sided copies, passive aggressive intimations, play solitaire and look bored.

When I was a temp in Brown Thomas Dublin there was always an atmosphere of open and frank charming hostility between co-workers. This made the day interesting as we came up with new ways to insult each other without seeming spiteful. We would also gossip about the latest person who couldn't handle the disparaging barrage and left to join the competition. Roches Stores

This will give you an idea as to how cruel my co-workers were. One such ex-employ had a red lump of a birthmark on her forehead. In America you would talk about this persons physical anomaly behind their back, denying them the knowledge of how people truly felt about her appearance. In Ireland however, they made clucking noises at her and called her a chicken, every twenty minutes! These are people in their 30's and 40's literally acting like 7 year old bullies. I miss Ireland so much...

First Day in a new job

2004-06-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

I just moved up from the mailroom to the prestigious position of Assistant to the Office Manager. I'm sure that I will continue to do next to nothing and still get paid hansomely for it. Ah, the life of the temp!

Every now and then I get a little panicky and wonder if I should be doing something, and then I remember what my mom told me; "You're not being paid to think", and I click on www.fark.com to make myself look busy by reading the wacky news from around the world.

I am looking forward to getting a real job, hopefully in a couple of weeks I will hear from Ve***on that an entry level management position has opened up. If that happens I will finally be able to use my brain at work, for something other than remembering obscure web addresses. In preparation I am reading this book. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385510861/qid=1088434363/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/002-2227815-4828067?v=glance&s=books&n=507846