Monday, August 07, 2006


I spent 45 minutes sitting and chatting with a claustrophobic patient today so they could make it through their scan. That's fine, I get to take a break from my boring work pushing paper.

I realize people have control/confinement issues that I not having experienced them, can't understand. I think it has less to do with claustrophobia and more to do with the helplessness they feel. So much so, that they have to exit the machine simply because it is the only bit of control they have in the hopeless situation they are in.

Terminally ill patients, in my experience fall into two categories. The first category is; people who are resigned to the fact that they may die. These are happy people, who treasure every waking moment because they may not have many left.

The second category is; people who may be dying but they are such miserable awful people to everybody they encounter, that I am surprised anybody would accomdate them much less empathise. You can't be an asshole and expect to be given the best possible care. Maybe the drama these people surround themselves with helps them by being a constant in their lives, something they cause and they are comfortable with?

This sounds insensitive as I type it, I know - but what good can possibly come from angering the people who are trying to take care of you? Eventually you have to come to terms with dying and make every last moment count. I only hope that I heed my own advice If I find myself in that predicament.

Unfortunately the patient I was taking care of fell into the last category, the rest of the staff had had enough of her complaining about how,"Her doctor said this would be an open machine, why is this (head coil) on my head"? Fortunately for her I did not know how she was treating our staff and I came in simply to keep her company so my attitude towards her was neutral.

When the scan was finished and I helped her up to a sitting position she farted for a good 20 seconds. The tech said 'Whoops', the patient said "excuse me", kept on farting and I kept a straight face becuase I knew if I didn't the tech and I would both be Laughing our butts off.


Blogger the ability to control (but not create) pudding said...

like, one 20-second-long fart, or lots of little ones that, in total, lasted 20 seconds?

10:08 AM  
Blogger Feckin Eejit said...

it was faaaaaaaaaaart fart fart fart faaaaart, whoops, excuse me, faaaaaart, here let me help you up. (where a=1 second)

3:06 PM  

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