take the charges off!

caller: there's a problem in my account, they were supposed to take these charges off the account, but instead they put them back in.

me: ok, I see in your account that we gave you the money back for those three charges.

caller: yeah, but they were supposed to take them off, not put them back in and I...

me: sorry to interrupt ma'am, but if you notice, your account balance increases with these amounts.

caller: RIGHT! they were supposed to take them off.

me: well I see here that you were given the money back for these charges which is what was supposed to happen.

caller: oh.

how do I?

customer: hi, how do I see my statement electronically?
Me: Are you currently logged in?
customer: yes
Me: do you see the link for estatements?
customer: yes
Me: ok.
customer: so that's what I click on?
Me: yes
customer: to see estatments?
Me: yes?

Old people again;

This is how a call goes;

Me: Hi this is Davin
Customer: Hi Davin, what's your name?
Me: Davin.
Customer: okay.

Does this make me a jerk?

I am a nice person most of the time - really I am. Unless I get cut off in traffic or someone tries to harm me or my family I will be calm and pleasant. This story takes place 02/19/09 at the milk & sugar-adding-area of my local coffee place and because I use fake names on my blog the codename will be 'Moonbucks'.

I was waiting patiently for the person before me to finish adding her milk so that I could go next. I was listening to death metal in my right ear so when she asked me something and gestured towards the dairy offerings I couldn't hear exactly what she said. I mumbled an inquisitive "hmm"? this caused her to gesture angrily at the dairy options. I displayed a confused look which made her throw up her hands and walk away muttering something about "kids these days". I am 33 years old, granted a very immature 33 but calling me a kid gave me the justification to then say "I can get my own milk" - I don't know if she heard me or not.

I don't know why she couldn't just be like everyone else and leave when she was finished adding milk to her coffee. There are so many jerks in the world that it throws me off when someone is genuinely trying to be helpful. The song I was listening to is "Scavenger of human sorrow" by the band 'DEATH'.

another old person story 2

This is the jist of the call

Me: How can I help you?
OP: Yeah I got this letter, I don't understand it.
Me: What does the letter say?
OP: I took out forty dollars, I only took out twenty and I got overdrafted.
Me: Ok, I see here that you took out forty dollars which overdrew your account
OP: Well I don't get it, I'll be calling you people every day
Me: Please do, call us every day so you know what your balance is.
OP: Yeah well you people screwed up my account
Me: Can you point to something we did wrong?
OP: My account is overdrafted
Me: And can you point to one thing that we did wrong?
OP: I wrote out some checks and now I'm overdrawn!
Me: Yes, we honored the checks you wrote, can you tell me what we did wrong?
OP: I'll be calling you people every day
ME: I look forward to talking to you again
OP: *annoyed grunt - click*

Another old person story

Customer: Hi, I'd like my account balance please.
ME: Sure, what's the account number?
Customer: 555-1234-5...
ME: Oh, that's your phone number sir.
Customer: Oh, I see, 555-2251-5...
ME: That's my phone number sir.
Customer: Oh, let me get my checkbook out from under the dog then.
ME: Okay.

List of Bad Phrases

You can say them, just please dont say them around me.

1) SUCH AS
2) 'Delish'
3) Good to go
4) No Problem
5) My Bad
6) Have a great one
7) Irregardless
8) Can you hear me now?
9) This day and age
10) Trying to think
11) Real quick

#1 Made famous by a certain befuddled Miss South Carolina.
#2 Because Rachel Ray is annoying.
#3 From that stupid Taco Bell commercial.
#4 because if you say this to a customer, they'll say, "Yeah there is a problem".
#5 This phrase is so overused and has lost all of its slacker charm.
#6 A what now? something big? something good?
#7 This isn't a word. The word is regardless.
#8 even verizon doesn't use this anymore it's so annoying.
#9 Only old people who have lived through different "ages" should use this term.
#10 You are not trying, you ARE thinking.
#11 It's going to take as long as it always takes, even if you add the word 'quick' to your request.