Thursday, January 24, 2013

My Son is 6 months old

My awesome son just turned 6 months old and the time is flying by.  Weeks fly by as we work for the weekends so that we have time to spend with our loved ones.
Before I forget the details of what happened and how, I want to put my memories of the birth down in a place where I can look back on it in a few years and have a good cry.

I remember being in the maternity ward with my wife who was so happy to be dilated and effaced (that's good).  My wife was planning on a VBAC and everything seemed to be going according to plan. The doctor came in to check the numbers and various machines that say beep. She noticed that with each contraction the baby's heart rate would drop considerably.  When the doctor heard that my wife was having back pain, the decision was made to get her into an operating room immediately. I was handed a full body scrub-suit with hair net and face mask and I over-dressed myself as I walked along next to the bed on wheels heading towards the elevator bank.

She was brought into the Operating Theater and i was left waiting outside with only my thoughts.  I don't remember a lot other than it seemed like it was taking a very long time and that perhaps they had forgotten about me.

Eventually I was brought inside as a slimy red baby was being raised up from an assortment of green sheets with my wife's head at the top. They directed me to sit next to my wife's head as there was a sheet separating us from the action going on down below. Her head would move up and down as they were operating on her body.  She had an epidural and so did not feel any pain from the surgery. I tried to remain calm as my wife was going through every emotion I have ever seen.

I did not hear any sound from the baby and I started to panic. I asked the nearest Nurse, "Is he okay"? and did not get an answer.  I heard a great commotion and asked again with tears streaming down my face "IS HE OKAY"? But nobody answered me.

I know now that for the doctors and nurses they are each focused on their jobs as they are each and every day.  I am impressed that they were able to ignore my sobbing and continue working, each as a part of the machine that brings babies into the world. They were all clearly busy and I did not want to distract any of them away from their duties, and so I waited and cried quietly to myself; equal parts excited and nervous.

After the commotion died down I was invited over to meet my son for the first time. I still did not hear any crying and I assumed the worst.  I heard someone shout an apgar score, "Five"! I was crying and repeating "Please tell me he's okay, please tell me he's okay".  I saw a nurse flick a baby foot with a rubber gloved hand until the tiniest noise came from his mouth.  He turned from blue to pink in front of my eyes.  The crying got slightly louder with each noise that came from his mouth. The nurses applied ointment to his eyes and called out his apgar score, "Eight"!

They bundled this tiny person into blankets and handed him to me.  He blinked his eyes and I cried, tears of joy.

Friday, January 04, 2013

I reached 409m in countryside. Check out how far you go:

Thursday, May 24, 2012

New Bad word/phrase list

1) Y'all
2) Used to could
3) Even still
4) I mean...
5) More Gooder
6) Not for nothing
7) Having said that...
8) Recuperate the funds
9) Okay?

1) Y'all We have a new employee from South Cackalackie (Carolina) I am trying to stop her from saying certain 'Southern' things, posting a sign with these words has stopped the Y'all almost immediately.
2)  Used to could is another 'Southern' thing.  I promised her I wouldn't put her on the list more than twice.
3) Even still is a massachusetts thing and annoys the crap out of me, it means 'regardless'
4) I mean... is a way of starting to talk without saying anything, it's a fancy 'umm'.
5) More Gooder I lied about not putting a third 'Southern' thing on my list.
6) Not for nothing, what does that even mean?
7) Having said that - to me means, everything i just said is bullshit, so disregard it.
8) 'Recuperate the funds' for some reason you can say Recoup to mean get back, and you can recuperate from a monetary loss, but you can not recuperate money.  English is fun!
9) Okay? so, the southern girl made my list 4 times.  whatever.

Friday, July 17, 2009

old people crack me up

Me: thank you for calling, this is Davin.
Old person: what's your name?
Me: Davin (pronounced dah-vinn)
Old person: okay David can you check something for me?

I want to eat my checks

Recently Banking regulations changed and to save money original checks are no longer being returned to the 5% of old people who still manage their finances this way.

Old guy: "It's my constitutional right to do whatever I want with my checks, If I want to shred them or eat them"!

I imagine an old man shaking his fist and shouting at a bank employee about how times were tough in the old country and they dreamed of moving to america where you could eat as much paper as you want.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

take the charges off!

caller: there's a problem in my account, they were supposed to take these charges off the account, but instead they put them back in.

me: ok, I see in your account that we gave you the money back for those three charges.

caller: yeah, but they were supposed to take them off, not put them back in and I...

me: sorry to interrupt ma'am, but if you notice, your account balance increases with these amounts.

caller: RIGHT! they were supposed to take them off.

me: well I see here that you were given the money back for these charges which is what was supposed to happen.

caller: oh.

Friday, April 03, 2009

how do I?

customer: hi, how do I see my statement electronically?
Me: Are you currently logged in?
customer: yes
Me: do you see the link for estatements?
customer: yes
Me: ok.
customer: so that's what I click on?
Me: yes
customer: to see estatments?
Me: yes?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Old people again;

This is how a call goes;

Me: Hi this is Davin
Customer: Hi Davin, what's your name?
Me: Davin.
Customer: okay.