Just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean I like doing it

I had possibly the worst job ever this week.  I had to call up businesses in the south/southeast and ask them if they would like to take a survey.  I would hang up and have hung up on the poor bastards who do this for a living, but after a few calls you figure out what gets people to stay on the phone.
My 'shpeil' was, "Hi, my name is Davin, I'm calling from *.*.*. Consulting in Boston, how are you? - this is not a sales call - I'm calling to guage interest in promotional products. Can you either tell me if you have pens with your company logo on them, or can I speak to your office manager please?"  It's hard, but I can say it all in one breath.
I was supposed to be asking for the office manager in an attempt to find out if they have/like or are interested in pens with their company logo printed on them.  eventually I figured out the best I could do in most situations is to ask the receptionist if they have seen pens around with their company logo on them.  Most people laughed at me when I offered a $500 raffle to entice them to take the survey.  Even I wasn't sure if this was a legitimate offer, but hey, whatever pays the bills right?
I figured out a cute trick though, most people warn the office manager when a telemarketer is calling and put them into their voicemail.  So what I would do is to get the persons name (e.g. Debbie) from the answering machine.  Then I would call back and in my best Georgia drawl say, "Hah therr, Can ah talk tuh Debbie please" - and BAM! result - I would be talking to debbie!
For the last few hours of this job I got creative with the survey results and extrapolated data from my previous vict - er - quarry to create a few new results. 
I'm sure that this won't matter because anyone who's stupid enough to pay thousands of dollars for people to cold call random southern businesses and ask if they use promotional pens will probably then spend hundreds of thousands to start up a promotional products company -   even though any office supply company can make these items for relatively cheap.

Update! New Job done

I must not have put those stickers on straight enough, because the 1 month assignment just became a 1 day affair.

Oh well, the agency will have something else for me tomorrow.

New Job, More Money

Another week begins and I am playing receptionist in a CPA firm Doon-toon. I have been awarded a nice pay increase ($1.50 an hour extra) to look happy and put stickers on file tabs. I feel I can make a difference here if I put those stickers on really straight.

Continuity strikes again as I am working for someone who worked for my previous boss in the same position I worked in. It's great to be able to compare notes on how you dealt with a certain bosses personality. I mostly used the 'pretending to care' approach, whereas she took a more reactionary approach. I do not recommend trying to reason with a boss as this can lead to unnecessary dialogue.

all opinions are politically driven and therefore any one is as true as any other

I pride myself on being an upbeat, outgoing person and I take with a grain of salt anything that seems to be skewed politically to one side or another. Then I read things like this article and I want to run screaming back to Ireland. - Davin


Junk Science and The Bush Administration

Pretending you care TIP #1

You can go very far in life by just pretending to care about whatever issue presents itself to your boss.
If it's a minor dissapointment a simple "Aw, that's too bad", validates their insignificant emotions and implies that you are an empathic individual, someone worth keeping around when problems arise.
If it is a major complication however, first you need to scan your memory to make sure it wasn't your fault. Then contort your face into a look of mild discomfort, this will suggest that you are as upset as your boss is. Then utter the words "What are they going to do about it". This will sound as if you understand the situation and do care, but does not place you in the position of having to take care of the problem. But if you must handle the problem, see if you can put it off until your contract expires.